Mistaken Identity and Honesty

In lieu of an update (though, as you can tell from my writing this, I am alive), I want to share a funny string of emails I’ve been getting. Apparently, another “Jewel M” doesn’t know her own gmail account, so she occassionally forwards her emails between herself and her ex-husband, Ron, and a potential/ex-boyfriend, Tom, to me. The first time this happened, I responded to let her know I was receiving her emails. So when she kept sending them, I assumed she wanted me to have them. Appropriately enough, this string is titled “Honesty.” My favorite lines are bold. Thanks Jewel M!

—–Original Message—–
From: Tom
Sent: Monday, February 25, 2008 2:18 PM
Subject: Re: Honesty

THANK YOU HONEY, THAT MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME……BABY THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE AND THEN WE CAN GROW AND BE THE BEST OF FRIENDS. I KNOW I HATE TELLING THE TRUTH SOMETIMES BUT I KNOW THE OLDER I GET AND THE PEOPLE I’VE LIED TO IT HURST ME GROW AS A PERSON!

U CAN ASK ME ANYTHING

On Mon, Feb 25, 2008 at 12:19 PM, Jewel M** wrote:

Oh and out of courtesy and respect – I will make list of EVERYTHING that I have been dishonest about – as you have requested.

Regardless of what happens w/ us, you will know – and there will be no more secrets. If you can forgive me – fine, if you can’t then that is just how it has to go. The reason?

Ron could not be honest w/ me right up to the end. It has haunted me still to this day. Even when we were over and there was no hope, he still had things he lied about that he will take to his grave and that has always bothered me. I would have preferred he told me the truth, even if it hurt, if for no other reason, to be prepared in the future for what someone could potentially do to me.

I hate living the grand illusion of thinking that something real and not ever really knowing if it is the truth or not. I have always said and MEANT – I would rather be told the truth even if it hurts, than to be lied too. I have not done this completely, 85% of the time – yes, but that other 15% was reserved to protect your feelings and not cause any confrontation or rejection.

I would really like to ask you some questions and get honest answers as well, basically for the same reason…. At this point, it hardly matters what the outcome is right? We will either survive it or we won’t, but we will have done it honestly.

—–Original Message—–

From: Ron
Sent: Thursday, June 14, 2007 12:03 PM

gee that was easy and quick, is he really that much better then me ?

Jewel M wrote:
I care for you – and always will, but I don’t love you anymore, I am sorry.

From: Ron
Sent: Thursday, June 14, 2007 11:59 AM
I cant and dont want to let go . I love you

Jewel M wrote:
Ron it is over

You had plenty of time to pray for and try to make things different you did nothing – please please please – let me go on with my life and be happy. PLEASE

From: Ron
Sent: Thursday, June 14, 2007 11:55 AM

with the right prays , it dont have to

Jewel M wrote:
It already has.

From: Ron
Sent: Thursday, June 14, 2007 11:53 AM
I just dont want it to end between us

Jewel M wrote:
I hope you really mean this – I would very much appreciate you allowing me to move on with my life. I have been very respectful of you – allowing you to move on and would really like to have the same respect from you in return.

As we have a history together, I realize that this will be difficult, but I do think in time you will be a happier person.

I hope you know that I think you are a great guy and I am sorry that things did not work out. But you and I also both know that it is over.

I need to move forward and so do you, looking back is only hurting us both.

I would like to think that in the future we may be able to have a friendship but again, if it is not possible – I completely understand.

I will be praying that you find your way, find peace, find happiness and most of all find the love that you are truly seeking.

Take care,

From: Ron
Sent: Thursday, June 14, 2007 9:32 AM

nothing, anymore, god bless you Jewel, I really hope you live a good and happy life .

Jewel wrote:
so no more e-mails? no more notes? no more stalking me?

From: Ron
Sent: Thursday, June 14, 2007 9:28 AM
thank you

Jewel M wrote:
Yes – we are done. I have no desire to continue this relationship with you, I’m sorry.

From: Ron
Sent: Thursday, June 14, 2007 9:23 AM

ok , you win , I will leave you alone . I got a letter from your lawyer yesterday , ouch , hes a prick . from now on all paper work will be over the mail . it will take longer , but this is the way you wanted it . we shouldve just went to the court house and paid upfront and be done

Jewel wrote:
You could start by telling me the truth, which you clearly are not – have not and I guess never will.

From: Ron
Sent: Thursday, June 14, 2007 9:19 AM

your a big part of my life . I cant get over the feeling of my guts being riped out. I just wanna be with you.